Crucial Conversations
Lightning topic conversation
What is a Crucial Conversation?
crucial conversation (kr-oo shel kän´vur s¯a´shen) n
A discussion between two or more people where
- stakes are high
- opinions vary
- emotions run strong
How do we handle Crucial Conversations?
Crucial conversations happen every day in life. They’re day-to-day conversations that affect your life.
What crucial vs vanilla?
–Talking to your coach about a possible promotion. You think you’re ready, they do not (stakes are high).
–You're in a strategy session with coworkers on how to lead the project - one sees the direction going one way, other another way (opposing opinions)
–You and coworkers are brainstorming different ways to leverage new business development to gain a big client or you wont make annual goals (emotions are high)
We usually handle crucial conversations by:
- Avoid them
- Face them and handle them poorly
- Face them and handle them well
Each of us enters conversations with our own opinions, feelings, theories and experiences about the topic at hand. When entering into a crucial conversation - our opinions differ.
- Find a shared pool of meaning
- You another: I have one history, you another
How to practice crucial conversations and what to look for:
- Heart - Stay focused on what you really want
- Look - Recognize when “safety” is at risk
- Safe - Talk about anything
- Master - Stay in dialogue when angry/hurt/scared
- State - how to speak persuasively not abrasively
- Explore - When others blow up or clam up
- Action - to results